This month marks a year since I cut myself free from my parents – although the altercation was so violent that today my mother still wont talk to me and has cut me off from contacting my siblings(I know how to burn bridges quite well). When I cut that rope, I became a ship without a sail – so to speak – and frankly, it has been a rough, crazy, head-spinning year trying to find my bearing. Some of you know more about it because I’ve leaned on you more than others. I gained a foothold when I needed it and have been improving since. I've learned more then I could write about during the next year, from a lot of you. I've also pissed off a lot of people, including some of you - partly because I allowed myself to think for myself, and partly because I have a talent for saying/doing the exact wrong thing – especially when drunk. I lost, destroyed, fundamentally changed the following: relationships, friendships, inhibition, motivation, purpose, status, and my future. I do not regret anything – things can always get better, things can always get worse, and ultimately you have to learn sometime. Have a drink on me some time this month in celebration of 1 year of freedom. Here are highlights and lessons learned from this past year:
-From July-December 2009, I played Fallout 3 every evening after my 12 hour shift. It was the best distraction I had while alone(lonely) in a “war-zone”. That video game means more to me than my entire time in Iraq... besides my co-workers.
-http://www.cracked.com/ can help you relax after 12 hours of work...while pirating music, videos and much more.
-http://xkcd.com/ is awesome, while http://www.explosm.net/comics is wrong.... but fucking hilarious.
-12 degrees never felt so good then on December 7th, 2009 at 0200 when I walked a ¼ mile in it with body armor, helmet, rifle, and bags - On US soil.
-I have so much hate and bitterness for my last deployment and I Corps that the bumper-sticker on my car will never come off. I will NOT fix your computer... for free.
-My 2009 civic... thanks to 2009 taxpayers everywhere. That includes you, unless you live in Puerto Rico and don't pay taxes
-I've hit 74 in a 30 mph zone
-Beer, Seagram’s, and unusual capability to be standing/coherent several hours later.
-12-hour hangovers and a toilet bowl.
-Went from 0 to 2 in 22 years
-Moved 4 times to increasingly better rooms.
-You need more than a pellet gun to one-shot-kill a squirrel.
-Tattoos feel like getting pinched and getting burned.
-Sleep is a whore who apparently has ADHD.
-Its hard to hit something with a handgun, unless you are on top of what you're shooting- No pun intended.
-Chicago, DC, and Oklahoma City can take their highways and shove it
-I've seen more wildlife since March then I've ever seen before in my life
-I can not-shave on Fridays and get away with it
-I took a beer of all our liquor
-When watching movies with a girl in your room, you will only watch 30 minutes of it.
-You can't force anyone to give a damn about you.
-Achievement Unlocked! “Mysterious Drunk Guy”
-Achievement Unlocked! “Drunken Idiot” x2
-Achievement Unlocked! “Promotable, But Not Promoted”
-11 Seasons of SouthPark: 3 weeks
-11 Seasons of M*A*S*H: 8 weeks
-I think Katy Perry is better than Megan Fox, in more ways than one.
-Married women are cool as shit... tread lightly.
-Getting kneed in the diaphragm hurts like hell.
-Talk about drinking, and you will get bitched at by every Christian you know.
-There is no rest for the wicked
-Popsicles are good snacks, especially when you get hot... In your room.
-Get out of the path of police escorting black, tinted sedans in Vegas.
-Cali is gay because they gave me a ticket, never-mind the pot-smoking, gays, or hippies.
-You can have a nosebleed for two weeks.
-I've been to the mall more times the last 7 months then in the last 4 years
-My grandma is frikkin awesome
-RATS are good for killing
-I'm wearing shorts voluntarily for the first time in 8 years
-I am neither Democrat nor Republican - I'm an American dammit!
-I almost ran over a Mini-Cooper in a Humvee – those damn cars are all over the East Coast
-All plans have a 50% failure rate. Good thing I’m good at winging-it.
-2 beers to 12 in 3 months
-You can fall asleep during a polygraph
-You can hit a car and cause no damage
-Marines are fucking nuts, but also really fucking cool
-Navy is just cool – like the Army
-Air Force are dicks
-It's ok to talk shit, everyone does to you anyway.
-It's not ok to treat AAR's like a joke – you'll have to hide from a mob of pissed NCO's
-Drug deals make the world go around.
-You can puke after puffing an entire cigar... who knew?
-I can only smoke[cigarettes] after a certain level of drunkenness
-You can change a lot in 6 months
-My joints are so flexible, the ligaments in my left shoulder don't hold the socket in place
-The East coast is one ginormous tangle of highways
-DC is one of the worse spots in the US to drive
-I will get a hangover only by drinking the same drink/beer the entire night.
-People don't like it when I play with my knife, they say I'm going to cut myself, but I never do
-I can't respect NCO's who have double standards... hell, I can't respect anyone who does.
-People assume I want to be an NCO, but I really don't care to
-I don't care about a lot of things
-I love are my 2 sisters and my brother more than my parents(but I’ve stopped hating them)
-In 12 months, I've never had a Ugandan mispronounce my last name, but everyone else does.
-BBQs in Iraq – like totally awesome
-Everybody lies, everybody has dirt, everybody has issues
-My car went 7000 miles before her first oil change. 5000 of them were from crossing 'merica
-Boondock Saints 2 has the greatest 2-minute, random-ass dialogue in any movie. Ever.
-Strippers are alright to look at, but totally not worth it. Unless you are there with a wife/GF/FB
-Because of my Droid, I'm pretty sure Google is going to take over the world.
-The flag hanging above my bed flew above Al Faw Palace in Baghdad
-I take some great pictures, maybe not as great as I wish, but I'm working on it.
-I suck at beer-pong, but I have a great first game of pool.
-Comcast is the shittiest ISP ever
-Saw my first high person ever, she was cool. She also got drunk and kissed me
-Sometimes I think I am literally losing my mind
-Every time I've gone to Walmart for food, it's always been after midnight
-I've seen a squirrel vanish from directly in front of my car into thin air
-I've had 5 nightmares in the span of a month and I don't dream. Ever.
-There are no decent radio stations in this part of the world, unless you like mix stations.
-People skills are arguably more important than anything you will ever learn in your life.
-Ants will invade your room just to make a nest for no apparent reason
-Video games are a great way to hang out with (some) friends
-Went from always fidgety and nervous to calm in Kuwait. Been that way ever since
-You can't let projects sit, otherwise they will die.
-I am planning on making a web-comic and writing a book
-I still think MJ is a fucking pedophile freak who is doing more good in the grave.
